Fired

I lost my job last week, and I miss it.  Well, that’s not entirely true; my job was something of a clusterfuck, and the company I worked for was the Walmart of the industry.  I miss my field, though.  I heard someone on a TV show mention an unusual diagnosis, and I got a little pang.  I’m hopeful that I’ll find something else in the field soon.

In the meantime, though, I’ve discovered something shocking; I’m not nearly as lazy as I like to think I am.  This is breaking news to me, because it seemed like I spent at least 50% of my work hours wishing I was taking a nap, fantasizing about all the nothing I could be doing at a given moment, and planning weekends filled with glorious idleness.  Today marks 1 week jobless, and I’m going spare over here.  It seems a body can only stalk Facebook, make lyrics videos, listen to music and nap so much before it loses its charm.  I need to be doing something.

That’s another thing that has come as a bit of a shock.  I’m not nearly as good at sitting around as I thought.  I was sitting around on Facebook and my ass yesterday, and realized I needed to go clean something.  Quelle horreur!  I, voluntarily doing housework?!

Don’t get me wrong; I’m delighted to find out I’m not quite as worthless as previously imagined.  They say job loss is a time for self-reevaluation.  I guess I’ll have to cross “full-time hedonist” off my list of ambitions.

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About slightlyirritable

On the outside, I'm your average, middle-aged, dumpy Southern woman with limp hair and a bad wardrobe. But on the inside! Ah, on the inside I'm an average, middle-aged, dumpy Southern woman who likes to write and draw. I'm Walter Mitty in yoga pants. Inside my head, I'm Tamara de Lempicka, William Faulkner, Ella Fitzgerald and the Wright boys - Wilbur, Orville and Frank Lloyd. (And all of my personalities are snappy dressers.) View all posts by slightlyirritable

2 responses to “Fired

  • fanaticalhypocrite

    Ouch, that sucks. I’m so sorry. My last days (or at least the last round of last days since I ended up back there again) at MQ were a strange mix of heart breaking and uplifting. I was getting fired; I was free. I had finally stood up for myself; I lost my livelihood for it. It was a generally hard time in life anyway and the last thing I needed was all that added stress. For years, they had buried me in criticism and convinced me I was worthless. Then I heard this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbfHany6PLU

    I realized I was living it. I stopped taking any of it. I dished back the criticism when I got it. I got my QA fired for her complete incompetence. She was knocking down my score for leaving blanks and filling in those blanks with completely made up text. I went over every QA audit I received and challenged anything that wasn’t a genuine mistake. It wasn’t long before the head QA took over reviewing my work. When I saw that I was losing the war and was going to be fired, I had already had a month to line up a new job and quit preemptively to keep my resume unblemished. My boss, whose own head was on the chopping block, admitted that even she didn’t think they had just fired 1,500 employees for quality reasons and that it was a lay off in disguise.

    It’s funny, all I ever do is complain about work when I’m working, but once, many years ago, I took a week long vacation and towards the end I started getting weirdly anhedonic and sort of missing work. I also consider myself quite lazy, so it was a strange revelation that somewhere along the line work became an inseparable part of my life.

    Not sure if I would still feel that way now. As time goes by, I look more and more on writing as a legitimate investment of my time. It’s a dream I’ll probably never realize, but one worth working hard on. So now I would probably just spend 8 hours a day writing my books. Also I could concentrate more on my security guard job. Finally take out that guitar I have on a shelf and learn how to play it (as long as someone else can tune it for me LOL.) Brush up on the piano again. Not sure though. I’ve developed so many extra-curricular activities, I might just achieve complete detachment from traditional work. Or once again end up watching 16 hours of television in a stupor until I break down and go back to work…

    Good luck with finding a new job and adapting to the full-time hedonist lifestyle in the meantime!

  • pc&si

    Ack! I can’t believe I missed your reply until now. Thank you for the commiseration. I wish I were not so apathetic when it comes to holding others’ feet to the fire (Kelsey wishes so too, but it’s his Asperger’s talking) and could have done as you did. At least I’d have felt like I’d gone down swinging. As it was, I just kind of shrugged and went, “meh, next?”

    Now that a little more time has passed and I have a legitimate chance to get back to work, I find more and more value in leisure. Like you, I have a lot of hobbies (or “extra-curricular activities,” I like that) and have been doing a little more work on those. I’ve been experimenting a little more with my graphic design and love to delude myself that I could freelance. I’ve been more productive than I initially thought I would be, and that’s nice. Damn if I’m not looking forward to a regular check and having insurance again, though. Perhaps I’ll retire into hedonism 😉

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